Eyes

Eyes.

This is the very first trait everyone notices about N.  He has the most beautiful big eyes and eyelashes that would make any girl jealous.

I still remember a picture we received of N. shortly after we had received his proposal.  I remember falling in love with his big eyes and the emotion they showed.  I know exactly how N. is feeling just by looking into his eyes - they are so expressive.  But they have always been full of life, full of emotion, from the first day we met in the Philippines (in Sept 2008).

Baby F. is another story.  I still think about our first meeting in Vietnam, almost 1 year ago - wow time flies!!!  He was lifeless.  He was a dead weight in my arms and his eyes were expressionless.  I secretly feared there was something mentally or physically wrong with him.  I never actually shared the extent of my fear with anyone, not even hubby.  The other children being adopted at the same time, seemed to be a lot more active, they laughed, they cried and they reacted.  Hubby noticed I was doing a lot of surprise noise making, trying to get a reaction from F.  Nothing.  Hubby asked if I thought something was wrong.  I just shared that I didn't think he reacted to any noises or to voices and he didn't have much expression, but deep down I thought it was a lot more than that.  As the days went on, his personality was starting to change.  He was laughing more and crying more.  Both good signs but his eyes still didn't speak to me.

The other day F. looked at me with his beautiful eyes and heart-melthing smile and I realized that he was o.k.  His eyes now tell me he is happy and healthy.  They almost sparkle.  All he needed was the love of a family, stimulation and the opportunity to try many new things.  As he stood there smiling, laughing, it was at that moment I remembered how sad, how lifeless his eyes had been the day he was thrown into the arms of complete strangers, who looked different and smelled different.  I can not begin to express how overjoyed and excited I am that his eyes now tell a much different story!

He still has anxiety issues.  Especially when that darn doorbell rings!  He scrambles to get into my arms and holds on for dear life.  In his mind, when the doorbell rings it means someone is coming to stay with him and that mommy (and/or daddy) are leaving.  This is not a good feeling for him!  But this "issue" we can work through.  We went through it with N.  I thought I'd be attending Kindergarden with him but nowadays, he hardly has time to say wave goodbye before he rushes off to find his friends.  N. still prefers to be with mommy and daddy but can handle being away from us for a little while.  So I have no doubt F. will work through his anxiety issue.  But as long as his eyes are sparkling and telling me he is happy, that's all this mama can ask for!