The Mind of a 5 Year Old...

Have I ever mentioned how much N. makes us laugh with the things he comes up with?  I can be having a really bad day and he'll just say something that changes my whole attitude.

Well, lately we've been having "issues" with N's behavior at school.  This kid is awesome and loves being funny and LOVES the attention he gets when he does something funny.  I knew this from the moment he came home with us from the Philippines and that it would cause problems in school.  He is also, unfortunately, a "follower".  He does what other kids do.  Sadly, I've known this from the beginning as well, and it is not something he is outgrowing.  I see problems in our future...lots of praying to be done!  He really is a good kid and doesn't act up to be hurtful or disrespectful...he just likes to have fun.

All this being said...the teacher sent home a note saying he was disruptive all week and they really had to be on top of him.  So we have "the talk"...

Me:  N. do you listen to mommy?

N:  Yes

Me:  Well, why don't you listen to your teacher?

N:  Because I love you!

Way to go N...straight to the heart!  This kid already knows how to get out of trouble.  Anyway, hubby and I were really upset with him when we received this note, but you know what?  I've decided (and spoken to hubby about it), this kid is in KINDERGARDEN, he is FIVE years old.  We can't expect him to have listening perfected and we can't expect his active body to sit still during "relaxation" time.  We know he's learning because he blows us away with the things he comes home with.  My mom's jaw dropped when she heard him speak in french.  And hubby's sister couldn't believe how well he writes his name (she really thought we had written it).  He can count in both english and french.  He's picking up on letters and words.  And his coloring technique has improved 99%!  So he's learning what he should be learning in kindergarden and he's having fun.  So now I have to figure out a way to express all of this to the teacher on parent/teacher night without sounding like a parent who doesn't care.  I do care...I just care about the really important things!

Another "issue" we have with N. is that he wakes up in the middle of the night to come into mommy and daddy's bed.  Which we have no problem with, but instead of just coming, he lies in his bed yelling, "DADDDDDDYYYYYY!  OH, DADDDDDDDYYYYYYY!"  So he wakes us both up with his yelling and one of us goes to get him.

The other night as I slept soundly...

N:  Mommy I did it!

Me:  Huh?  What?  What do you mean "you did it"?

N:  I came in your bed without calling you or daddy!

Good grief...this kid even has me laughing at 2am!

So that's N in a nutshell!  He is a sweet and funny boy.  A boy I love to pieces, who will cause me a lot of heart ache but who has given me the greatest opportunity in life...to be his mom!

Jessica: A Different Kind of Being.

Here is something I wrote in Grade 11.  It was a "project" we had to write in english class.  It is probably the only assignment I've kept over all these years (typed on a typewriter I might add).  I just love to read what was going through my head when I was 16...and honestly some things have not changed!  Enjoy...

I am Jessica.

I am sixteen years old.

I have blue eyes.
They match my blond hair or sometimes dirty blond.

I stand tall.
Five feet, six and a half inches to be exact.
Just like my father so people tell me.
I personally like to think I'm my own person.

I love pasta and sauce.
I wonder sometimes why I'm not Italien.

One of the many mysteries in life.

I like school but hate lunchtime.
I wish I didn't go to L.H.S.
One more year won't kill me.

I like dance music better than rap.
I prefer rock over country.
But I give all music a chance.

I prefer to work than to sit around and do nothing.

Sometimes.

I know what's going on in the world.
I read newspapers and watch the news.
The whole system stinks.

I love math but hate physics.
I love animals but birds just don't seem to appeal to me.

I'm always right and everyone else is wrong.
So I like to think.

I hate people who worry about what othe people say or think.
Who cares?

I hate people who put themselves down.
And people who tell me I'm wrong.

I'm NEVER wrong.  (HA HA is all I can say!)

(There are 2 sentences here I "whited" out so I guess I wasn't proud of what I wrote or just didn't want anyone else to see that thought!)

I'm usually in a bad mood.
People say I have an attitude.

I'm a sagittarius I'm suppose to.

There's too much sexism in this world.
No one seems to be doing anything about it.

Women are equal.

I love music and movies.
I've watched Die Hard at least fifty times.

Bruce Willis rules.  (I still think that HA HA!)

The one thing more important then my stereo and music is my cat.
He's fifteen years old.
He's my best friend. (I led a sheltered life)

I babysit a lot.
It sucks.

I wanted to be a vet but that was just a phase.
I want to be involved with the law.

Somebody has to try and make a difference.

I have a dream but don't we all.

I hate History.
I don't understand why we have to learn about it.
I don't care.

I believe in the death penalty.
It may be a sick belief but it's true.
More dealth pnalties.  Less crime.
It could happen.

I don't like politics so I don't know the difference between the liberals and the conservatives and all the other parties. (This is still true)
They only mess up the world more.

I love to be by myself.
It gives me time to think on my own.
People may think I'm a loner but I like being lonely.

I love staying up late but hate getting up in the morning. (Oh how true it is)
That explains why I'm always late for school.

I worry too much and cry too much.

We all have our faults

I don't believe in suicide.
It's the cowardly way out.
People say that's being cruel.
I'm sorry that's the way I feel.

I'm definitely not in love and don't plan on being any time in the near future.
I can wait.
Won't my parents be happy.

I'm overly concerned about the system.
It needs help.

So do I.

My name is Jessica and this is 1994.

About Me...

I saw this at A Different Drum (a blog I follow) and I figure while hubby is watching his football/baseball/hockey games (yes really he's watching all 3) I'd entertain myself by completing this!

1. Name someone with the same birthday as you.  Frank Sinatra.
2. What has been your favorite age so far?  31 - I became a mom.
3. Where did you meet your husband? At a lab doing an inspection of mushroom cans!
4. How many children do you have? 2 (for now)
5. Have you ever sung in front of a large number of people? Yeah (not solo) but I was never asked again!!
6. What’s the first thing you notice about the opposite gender? Smile.
7. What really turns you off?  Show offs
8. What do you order at Starbucks? A bottle of water.
9. What is your biggest mistake? Never completing piano lessons.
10. As a child, what did you want to grow up to be? A lawyer...I was never getting married or having kids!
11. Say something totally random about yourself. I cried when John Ritter died.
12. Do you still watch kiddie movies or TV shows? Definitely!
13. Did you have braces? Yes - only bottom teeth.
14. Favorite Social Network? Facebook.
15. What is the most romantic thing someone has done for you? Yuck - I'm so not a romantic!
16. When do you know when it’s love? When you can talk to the person about ANYTHING.
17. Do you speak any other languages?  Francais.
18. Have you ever been to a tanning salon? Nope, never, not gonna happen.
19. What magazines do you read? Country Sampler & Parenting.
20. What is playing on your iPod right now?  I don't have an iPod.  I'm so out of touch.
21. Have you ever ridden in a limo? Yuppers
22. Has anyone you were really close to passed away?  Absolutely
23. Do you watch MTV? Nope.
24. What’s something that really annoys you?  When the 1st question out of someone's mouth is "What do you do?" and that determines how much of their attention they're going to give you.
25. Which television show were you sad to say goodbye to? Definitely Three's Company :-)  LOVE John Ritter.
26. Can you dance?  No but I like to think so!
27. What’s your favorite place in the world?  On a campsite!
28. Have you ever been rushed by an ambulance into the emergency room?  Nope.
29. If you could meet anyone (dead or alive) who would it be?  Some of the U.S. adoptive families I've met online...they seem so awesome!
30. If you could change one thing in the world for your child, what would it be? That they wouldn't have to deal with all the garbage out there - wish things could go back to the simpler "good ole days"!

Just copy and paste and change your answers to fit you!

Hope you learned something new about me!

Jess :-)))

Cakes

So I've been taking a try at making special cakes (kids only!!!)  So far I've made one for F. and my niece who are the same age.  This weekend the whole family will be together so we're celebrating my other niece's birthday even though it's not until November.  SInce I "kind of" enjoyed making the first cake I volunteered to make this one.  I figure home made are so much more special than store bought.

I've gotta say I actually enjoy making them.  Clean up...not so much.

I put the actual cake together at the beginning of the week and froze it.  Today F. gave me exactly the time I needed to decorate it.  His nap was the perfect length of time, although clean up will have to wait until his afternoon nap.  Thank goodness for 2 naps!

So here are my cakes (no laughing please)...

Sesame Street sign

Box of Crayola crayons

Identification Booklets

This past Sunday there was an "activity" at our local pharmacy, Jean Coutu.  There was a police woman there with her sidekicks.  They were offering a free service to have your child photographed and finger printed so in the event anything happened to your child you would have a booklet with the necessary identification of your child(ren).

I was completely on board.  I thought this was a great idea.

So after church, off we went to Jean Coutu.

Both my boys were photographed, and fingerprinted.

The nice police woman went on to explain how to make the booklet "complete".  She said to "pluck" some hair folicles, seal them in a smal baggie, and attach it to the booklet.  As a proactive mom, of course I am going to make this booklet as complete as possible.

And then it hit me.  All this is being done so that if anything happens to my boys, we will be able to identify them or they would be able to use this infomation to help with the search...

OH MY GOODNESS, what if something ever happened to my babies?  How would I go on with my life?

The police woman told me to have these booklets on me at all times. If anything were to happen to my boys, and they needed this info, I would be in no state of mind to know where I kept these booklets at home.  What kind of state of mind WOULD I be in?  Would I be as helpful as possible or would my mind/body just shut down?

Seriously?  I have to think of this stuff?

I remember being in the mall with N. and after I paid for something, I turned around and he was G-O-N-E!  I still remember the feeling of the room spinning and I was in such shock I couldn't even yell out his name.  The room spun and spun and no noise could escape my mouth.  He had just gone around the desk where I couldn't see him to look at a toy.  Let's just say I hugged him for a really long time until my shaking subdued!  I just can not imagine how worst the shaking and numbness would have been if he had really gone missing.

I still think it's a great idea and I recommend that all parents should have one made up in the event of...but be prepared it stirs up a lot of disturbing and unsettling emotions.  Let's pray together that we would never have to use these booklets!

"He Maketh No Mistake"

This IS NOT what MY junk drawer looked like :-)

Yesterday I had some unusual energy and I decided to attack our junk drawer.  I find this funny that I was concerned about the state of our "junk drawer"...who cares what state it's in, right?!?!  All I know is that everytime my parents come up and they need a pen or scissors or a piece of paper, my heart starts pounding and I start sweating (ok not really) when I open the junk drawer and my mom witnesses how "I really live"!  I know she's saying to herself, "This isn't how I raised her!"  So I figured I'd do something about this deep, dark secret and face it head on.

As I was going through all the papers and pictures I've just thrown in there because I didn't have the heart to throw them out or I just didn't know what to do with them, I came across a poem that obviously had a great impact on my life since it's been moved wherever and whenever we moved.

I remember receiving it in a church bulletin when I had started to attend the church my brother was working at/attending.  I remember the heart ache I was feeling in those days.  I remember the relief I felt after reading it.  I remember sticking it on our fridge the moment I returned home that Sunday.

I NEVER wanted to forget that He maketh no mistake.

I was dealing with the idea that I may never be a mom and that there was something wrong with my marriage.  Finding this poem yesterday remined me how far I've come...how far WE'VE come.  11 years married (for better or for worse), a husband who gave his life to the Lord and 2 of the most beautiful children in the world (if I do say so myself).

Finding this poem yesterday reminded me, He maketh no mistake.

He Maketh No Mistake

My Father's way may twist and turn

My heart may throb and ache,

But in my soul I'm glad to know,

He maketh no mistake.

My cherished plans may go astray,

My hopes may fade away,

Tho' night be dark, and it may seem

That day will never break,

I'll pin my faith, my all in Him,

He maketh no mistake.

There's so much now I cannot see,

My eyesight's far too dim;

But come what may, I'll simply trust

And leave it all to Him.

For by and by the mist will lift

And plain it all He'll make,

Through all the way, tho' dark to me

He made not one mistake.

I will return the sheet of paper containing these words to the junk drawer and there it will remain as a reminder that He maketh NO mistake!

My Heart Is Full...

Two nights ago I was rocking F. to sleep.  He doesn't usually fall asleep.  I usually put him in his crib, he cries for a minute or so, and then he puts himself to sleep.  This night, he dozed right off in my arms.  It was so quiet and dark in the room - so peaceful!

I decided to rock a little while longer.  Enjoying the stillness of the room.

I also decided, what better time to pray.  No distractions.  No noise.

Sitting there, holding my baby, my heart was full as I wondered if my arms would ever be full again with another young child.  I prayed that the fullness in my heart would be the will of the Lord and not my own.  J. and I are prepared to start the grueling adoption process all over again, but before jumping right in, we really want to know a) if this is the Lord's will and b) if it is, where would He have us go.

So I prayed.

It was a tough night.  F. is teething and was up at 1am and on and off pretty much for the rest of the night.  I also had to be up bright and early to get ready for the AGC Ladies Retreat.  My head hurt, and I was T-I-R-E-D!  Of course I checked Facebook, as per usual, before I started to get ready.  My attitude changed.  A couple had received a proposal for a beautiful 18 month old from the Philippines. 

If you know me, these announcements bring me to tears.

Again my heart was full.  I hope to one day have the great joy of receiving my child's picture and file.

I just LOVE the idea that the Lord has a plan for our family, and if my gut feeling is right, He has already chosen a child for us.  He knows exactly where he/she (PLEASE let it me a she...I can't take any more of this boy stuff LOL)  is, what they are doing and preparing them for joining our family...again if this is His will!

The other day I told J. I would love to be a lunch monitor once F. is in school (phew I still have 4 years).  He quickly said, "Ummmm no because you'll be at home with our next son/daughter!"  I just love that he is as excited about the idea as I am.

What fills your heart?  What are you waiting on the Lord for?

A Million Questions

Goodness yesterday was a HARD day to get through.  From the moment N. woke up he asked me question after question.  Might I add, some of them were pretty s-t-u-p-i-d questions (we're not allowed to use that word and N. will call us on it every time so I've resorted to spelling it!!)

We just finished putting down our kithen floor and on Tuesday night, dad and I grouted it.  Silly me, I told N. that I had to wash it.  Well ALL morning, "Mom, when are we washing the floor?"  "Mom can we wash the floor now?"  "Mom, are we going to wash the floor when F. is napping?"

N. questioned everything I did.  That was it, I decided we needed to get out and N. needed to be playing with a friend so that I wouldn't lose my mind.  Thankfully my good friend, Karen, was home and open to have some last minute visitors.  THANK YOU KAREN!  It's no nice having another stay-at-home mom living so close that we can drop in on eachother when the need arises!  Ahhhh, it was so nice to be with another adult and to have a  nice conversation with while the kiddies played together.  I discovered that we had both broken our noses as children...her story a little less embrassing than mine!  I even got to vent a little which is nice to release my frustrations every now and again.  Thanx Karen for humoring me!

To give you an idea of the type of S-T-U-P-I-D questions N. asked...On our way to Karen's house, N. asked which park we were going to.  I reminded him I had already told him several times, we were going to the one near the church.  He's been there many times.

N.:  "Mommy what kind of park is it?"

Me:  "What do you mean, what kind of park is it?"

N.:  "MOOOOMMMMM, what kind of park is it?"

Oh now I'm the one getting yelled at, because I don't understand his question?!?!?

I know this question doesn't seem so s-t-u-p-i-d, but when you've been questioned ALL morning about EVERY little thing, this type of question just seems soooo unreasonable.  And when you've been with your kids 24hrs/7 days with no sight of a hubby (he's been working so hard lately) these types of questions just push all my buttons because, really, there is ONLY 1 KIND OF PARK!!!!

By the end of supper, hubby still not home, I had reached my breaking point. 

"Mommy, can I have water?"

"Mommy, can I have cheese?"

"Mommy, can I give some cheese to F.?"

"Mommy, do I have to eat all my supper?"

"Mommy, do I have to have fruit?"

"Mommy, what are we doing tomorrow?"

"Mommy, why is daddy at a meeting?

"Mommy, what are we doing tomorrow?"

So we turned on that, oh so loved, box in the corner...the television...ahhhhhh silence!

One more question before bed, of course...

"Mommy what are we doing tomorrow?"

*sigh*

Worship Songs

When we came home with N. (from the Philippines) way back in 2008 (has it been 3 years already?) my dad's cousin came to visit her mom and brought her grandson along for the visit.  Yes Linda, I'm talking about you!  While we visited, a cd was playing in the background...VeggieTales Worship Songs...

I think I ordered the cd as soon as I got home.  I just loved it.  I guess N. was a little young to appreciate the songs.  He was more into ABC's, Old MacDonald, 5 Little Monkeys etc...  This past week as I prepared for our 2 hour journey to Ottawa, I decided I'd wipe the dust off the cd and listen to it in the car.  It was awesome.  There was something so encouraging and touching listening to N. belt out, "God of Wonders".  I didn't even know he knew the words.  He must really take in the lyrics to songs I listen to and during worship at church on Sunday mornings.  N. even asked me to replay, "You Are Holy".  As a mom this was a great moment for me. N. may not fully comprehend what he is singing about and what it truly means to worship, but the fact that he is singing about the love of Christ and that he is memorizing the lyrics is a GREAT start and the Lord only knows what this will develop into years from now...a worship leader, perhaps?!?!

All you moms/dads out there, if you haven't already bought this cd or one like it, may I recommend you buy your child a copy...you can even buy it off iTunes...and the bonus? Moms and dads will even enjoy it.

A Heart for Children

As I was doing some cleaning, well kind of, I came across this poem that had been at the back of a book I was reading.  If anyone knows anything about me, it's that I absolutely adore my children.  I hope I'm not one of those moms who do nothing but talk about my children and put them up on a pedestal (if I do, I apologize to everyone who has to listen to me) but I am very proud of my boys and love them so much.  People roll their eyes at me because I love spending time with them and hubby and I rarely leave them with anyone because we don't want to miss one moment with them.  When they're all grown up and living their own lives, I don't want to look back and think I should have spent more time with my boys or material things were more important to me than raising my boys.  I often hear my mom say (especially now that she has grandkids), "I wish I had...I wish we had done..." and she doesn't remember much about our younger days.  She always tells me, "Don't spend more time cleaning the inside of your oven than spending time with your kids...nobody cares how clean your oven is!"  Obviously they didn't have self-cleaning ovens back then LOL.  I lock the door, turn a knob and 3 hrs later my oven is clean.  No worries about me spending more time with my head in the oven than reading to my boys!

So I thought I'd share the poem.

A Heart For Children

One hundred years from now

It will not matter

What kind of car I drove,

What kind of house I lived in,

How much I had in my bank

Nor what my clothes looked like.

One hundred years from now

It will not matter

What kind of school I attended,

What kind of typewriter I used,

How large or small my church,

But the world may be

...a little better because...

I was important in the

life of a child.

Margaret Fishback Powers

(ok so I think this poem was written 100 years ago...typewriter?!?!?)



Christmas Shopping...

I had a moment of panic the other day...It's mid-August and I HAVEN'T STARTED MY CHRISTMAS SHOPPING!  Yikes!  I'm sure some may find this panic ridiculous and unwarranted but for the past few years I have learned that by having all my shopping done early I really get to enjoy the true meaning of Christmas.  There is no panic come December when the calendar becomes jammed packed with Christmas activities...I just get to sit back and enjoy every moment because the worry of finding the "perfect gifts" is far from being on my mind.  The panic of financial strain is also far from the brain.  Buying over a longer period of time is easier on the bank account rather than buying all in the same month, since of course the usual bills still need to be paid as well.  (Unfortunately credit card companies, utility companies and landlords (even if it is your dad) do not give you Christmas freebies!)

Well, guess what I did tonight?  CHRISTMAS SHOPPING!  I only buy for children (mine and those of my friends/family) and parents.  So I saw a huge toy warehouse off the highway in Laval the other day and it's been lingering in my mind since discovering it.  Since I had the desire to shop tonight I thought I'd check it out.  I did find some nice stuff and purchased my first few gifts.  Of course when I came home to show hubby, he rolled his eyes and made some snarky comment about it only being August...you can tell he doesn't do ANY of the shopping!  Oh sorry, he shops for N's stocking stuffers - a one shop stop at the 1$ store!

So you can have your giggles at me but come Christmas time when you're frantically finishing up all your shopping, I'll be sitting by my Christmas tree, enjoying the warm, fuzzy Christmas feeling, sipping on some yummy hot chocolate! :-)

Talents...

I can remember visiting with my grandmother and she attempting to teach me how to sew, and how to knit.  As a child I was not interested in learning these trades.  She did however succeed in teaching me cursive writing so that by the time I was taught it in grade 3 I had already mastered it and improving my handwriting has always been a favorite passtime of mine.  Now that I'm, ummmm, thrity something, I so regret not learning these important trades.  I'm dependent on buying things that I could probably "whip up" had I been a better pupil or asking my mom to create things for me.  I decided that I wanted new curtains for our living room and I didn't want plain, generic curtains and I didn't want to spend a fortune.  Instead of me being able to do my own thing, I relied on mom to make them. Let me just say I LOVE THEM!  She did a great job and they have changed the look of the room completely.

But this saddens me.  What talent/trade/skill am I able to pass on to my children?  How to work a computer?  How to "google it"?  I'm pretty sure they'll eventually teach themselves and be way better than me at it!  That's about it, I'm all skilled out.  I'm not creative and I have no other talent.  I can't even pass on cooking skills to my kids.  Sure I put food on the table night after night, but certainly nothing fancy. 

Why didn't I have the desire to learn when I was young?  Why didn't I learn to sew or to knit or even continue learning piano?

Are you able to pass on talents/skills/trades to your children?  Do you have any regrets of not learning a certain talent/skill/trade?

For The Sake of Science

Well I've decided to try this blogging thing again.  I don't know how many followers I will have, but I just think this is such an awesome way to motivate me to record my daily (or every other day) activities with my children.

Most blogs that I read do not name their children by their actual names - they have cutesy nicknames for them.  Unfortunately I'm not that creative so I'll be referring to my children as N and F.  Oh and my husband will be referred to as hubby (pretty creative, right?).  My goal is to write about the activities I try out with my boys during the day - mostly N. since he's older and F. doesn't do much other than pull things out of my cupboards, unroll the toilet paper, eat, poop and sleep!  You'll also probably read quite a bit about adoption since this is my passion and on my mind 24/7.  I know most people would think our family is complete after 2 successful adoptions, but I can honestly say I (and hubby) have more love to give and can't wait to start yet another adoption process (whether internationally or local).  We have really been talking about local adoption but I'm always open to international if the opportunity arises.  While I'm on this topic I might as well mention my findings last week.  It was at first exciting news and my heart skipped a beat, but by the end of the day I felt quite sad.  For Quebec there is a list of countries that are open to adoption.  I always thought these were the ONLY countries available.  But as I did more and more research (my favorite passtime) I discovered an adoption agency that worked with the Dominican Republic.  I was immediately interested.  I could just picture a beautiful little girl from the Dominican and I knew hubby would go for it since the flight is a lot less than 30 hours!  I emailed them right away and the Dominican Republic was in fact open for adoptions.  WOOT WOOT!  I emailed more questions, such as criteria and if having 2 other adopted children would be a problem.  The only criteria was that we had to be married for at least 5 years (check) and we both had to be over 30 (check).  The wait period was ~2 years which is great since Fredrick is so young right now, 2 years was a perfect timeframe.  And then the not-so-perfect part...we would have to stay there for TWO months!  TWO months in the Dominican is not about to happen.  Maybe if this was our first adoption it would have been duable but certainly not when we have 2 kiddos and the cost...oh my the cost!  Ok realistically it would be duable if this is where the Lord really wanted us to go...I guess we'll have to wait and see if He leads us in that direction.  Jon REALLY wants to start the process again but I figure we better wait until F's adoption is actually finalized (NOVEMBER 2 is the court date) and then I'll start contacting people again. Ahhhh let the paper work begin!

Next topic...Since I'm home all day with N. I like to look up different activities he might enjoy.  I found this one on a blog a friend referred me to.  I have gotten several ideas from it...www.icanteachmychild.com.  I HATED science in school and it wasn't until I started to work in a microbiology lab that I discovered my interest in bacteria, petri dishes, agars etc... so I figure I should try and instill some sort of love for science and experimenting in my kiddos while they're young.  While reading the icanteachmychild blog, a found a recipe for a mixture of flour and baby oil.  I figured this would be pretty cool to try out.  Unfortunately I didn't have enough oil on hand so we did a very small mixture.  And N. loves playing with food coloring and mixing colors...so we added some food coloring.

 

N loved mixing the colors and discovering what color he'd get when mixing the different colors.  We then thought of adding water to see what would happen to the flour/oil mixture.

N was getting water, mixture and food coloring ALL over...even on my floor.  Most moms would probably freak out but I didn't care because we're getting a new floor put down next weekend.  So who cares?!?!?  In the end our project was one big blob of mess - all for the sake of science!